50 shades of boredom

I wanted to write a post about this useless book, I thought that at least if I make a cool post out of it, I can turn the whole trilogy into something useful. I started reading it because my british colleague passed it to me; and then there was all this bla bla bla about it and the summer boom, it was quoted on every magazine that I saw in the last 4 months! I also read some negative critics and most of all, it’s those who convinced me, because as stubborn as I am, if something becomes really and quickly popular I immediatly hate it (from Titanic to the UGG boots) parti pris. So I read it all (I never abandon a book for how awful it is, I finish it hoping always in a posistive surprise) and it took me looooong looong time. I hated the protagonists from the first page, then I understood I just hated the author, more, I found that anyone could have written this book, she has no literary capability, she used the same 100 words through 500 pages and it’s so repetitive. I can tell because I read it in english and as I took it as an occasion to improve my vocabulary – desperately trying to find motivation to move forward- in the end I really paid attention to the words and I did not learn more then 10 new in the whole book!

Anastasia, for each thing she says or hears, is describing what both her hidious “inner goddess” and her “subconscious” think about it! Each single thing! Please!

But hey, let’s think about it: EL James she is smart, she took a prude topic and blurt it out, and she was brave, I mean she is married with 2 kids, who inevitabely will grow up with this ashaming label of “the pervert-kinky-erotic-writer mum” on them. And she nobilitated those pinky novels (Harmony) that we used to find only at the kiosk and now hey they are available in all the bookshops and teenagers with no clue about life are buying them and using them as their bible! Thanks EL, we did not have an already-fucked-up-enough new generation! (I am wondering if censure on books really works like for hardcore video contents). These girls are all slutty nowadays and  they will think that Ana -the goddess of sex- is a normal living example to follow! Good luck parents. And she boosted the sexy shop sales like never before… come on, she helped us through the economic crisis!

So in the end that’s all I have to say about the phenomenon of 2012, but I rather write a post not about the book itself, but about another blog writing on the book, that I discovered today. I honestly could not be bothered with 1000 pages more of this dull predictability,  but i somehow need to know what the hell did she invent to go on for 2 more books!?! I mean the protagonists never talk to each other, there are no real introspections about feelings, it’s just sex all the time! So, that’s how I was looking for a summary of the rest and I magically discovered this -I quote:

I as a reviewer could stop here. If I weren’t, if I hadn’t committed, I would stop here. This is all we need to know about this man and this woman. Really. It’s all. This is the series in a nutshell.

Christian does something to make Ana unhappy.

Ana is unhappy.

Ana gets mad at Christian.

Christian gets mad at Ana for being mad at him.

Ana is upset with Christian for not seeing why she would be upset.

They have sex.

Forget conflict and resolution. It’s just…it’s nothing. This book is less-than. In the real world, Ana is the sort of person who will wake up one day and kill Christian. Probably stab him to death with a kitchen knife eighty times. Then she’ll either go catatonic or kill herself because she doesn’t know who she is without him.


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Una risposta a “50 shades of boredom

  1. Pingback: Con-senso | REDROOM's Weblog


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